And Love Said No
by Mayhem777
Summary: Hatsuharu’s thoughts on Yuki and their past relationship.


**And Love Said No**

I wrote this a b-day present for a friend. This is also my first Fruits basket fic so go easy on the reviews. Later on this year I'm going to write a multi-part Fruits Basket fic. So be sure to watch out for that. Anyways I hope you enjoy the fic.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Fruits Basket, HIM or their song "And Love Said No"

**Warnings:** Very slight Shuouen Ai, Mild-Angst

**Note: **The text in** _bold italics _**is the song lyrics

**And Love Said No**

**_And loves light blue  
Led me to you  
Through all the emptiness that had become my home_**

Yuki… my love, my everything. Do you remember that day? I saw you by yourself at the house. You just stood there, staring out the window. And all my anger, all my hatred surfaced into one outburst. All the names I've been called, all the times I was picked on, I blamed you for everything.

_**And love's ice cold  
Introduced me with you  
And at that moment I knew I was out of hope **_

When I was finished, you simply asked me one question. You asked me if I thought I was stupid. I was shocked; no one had ever asked me that question before. I was so busy blaming you that I never asked myself if I really felt that way. And at that moment I changed, I became a new person.

**_Heal me  
I begged and love said no  
Leave me  
for dead and let me go_**

Something else happened that day though, a new feeling develop inside me. At first I didn't know what it was. But whenever I thought of you, I felt a warmness in my heart. It wasn't until later that it all became clear to me. I couldn't believe I failed to realize it sooner. The feeling was love; I Hatsuharu Sohma was in love with you.

_**Kill me  
I cried and love said no  
Kill me  
I cried and love said no**_

Now years later I'm still in love with you, but things have changed. I thought you had the same feelings for me, but I was wrong. I talked to you about it only once, but it didn't matter, you rejected me. You told me you only thought of me as a friend and that a relationship between us would never workout.

_**Love's icy tomb  
Dug open for you  
Lies in a cemetery that bears my name**_

At first I couldn't accept it; I thought we were meant to be together. I thought we understood each other like no one else. But over time I began to realize that you were right. It wasn't meant to be, you and I. I realized that I could never make you truly happy. With my black side, I'm too much of a burden to you. All I would do is bring you down.

_**Love's violent tune  
From me to you  
Rips your heart out and leaves you  
bleeding with a smile on your face**_

It's a part of me I've always hated. I hate it because when I do go black, I know I hurt all of those around me. Even after I changed back, I see something in your eyes, something different. I sometimes wonder if you're ashamed of me Yuki. I wouldn't blame you if you were.

_**Heal me  
I begged and love said no  
Leave me  
for dead and let me go**_

And then there's Tohru Honda, The outsider who discovered are family secret. I see the effect she has on you. The way she makes you smile and laugh. I'd be lying to myself if I didn't say that I wasn't jealous. I just wish I could make you feel that way. I wish I could be the one to make you happy, why can't it be me?

_**Kill me  
I cried and love said no  
Kill me  
I cried and love said no**_

But no matter how jealous she makes me, I can not bring myself to hate her. Not after all she's done for this family. Before she came into our lives, we were always fighting, always bickering. But now were all actually like a family. Tohru I won't lie to you, you're the best thing that's ever happened to us. AndI'll be forever gratefulfor it.

_**And loves light blue  
Took me from you  
And at that moment I knew I was out of hope  
**__**Again**_

And you Yuki... Before she came into your life, you were always so cold, so emotionless. You hardly cared about anyone or anything.But now, you're the happiest I've ever seen you. I remember now why I fell in love with you. Although now… that love is just a memory, an illusion in my head. I now know it will never come true.

_**Heal me  
I begged and love said no  
Leave me  
for dead and let me go**_

All I want is for you to be happy. And if it means a life without me then so be it. I've accepted the fact I can never make you as happy as she can. But as long as you still smile, I will smile too. I guess in the end that's all that really matters. It was time for me to move on anyways.

_**Kill me  
I cried and love said no  
**__**Kill me  
I cried and love said no**_

Tohru... please take care of Yuki for me. Always keep him smiling;keephim happy. This is all that I ask from you. Just know that I hold no remorse between us. And I will still consider you a true friend who I can always trust. That is why I told you my feelings for Yuki that day.

_**And love said no  
**__**And love said no**_

Yuki, I want you to know that I will always be by your side. Not as your lover, but as your friend.I want to be someone you can always trust,I want to be there for you whenever you need someone to talk to. And maybe one day I'll find someone to live my life with, just like you have.

_**The End**_

_**I hope you liked it, good, bad, let me know what you think. Just remember, you can criticizes but make it constructive.**_

_**Peace!**_


End file.
